Binding or freeing.....

"Love is not a protective cage but the gift of wings that allows another to fly free."-Source Unknown
How true is this statement?! Now before I start please note I am thinking practical every day life here and not looking at a romantic love story! How freeing is love? When you love you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, you want to get married, have a life, perhaps some children, blah blah the whole white-picket-fenced-house picture; but in living all your dreams I just see the person being more tied down to each other. I don’t say it’s a bad thing but its human nature to start being so dependent on the next person ....for everything or almost all of it. Just this morning I was trying to explain why I refuse to use an alarm clock because I know that my husband uses his and will be there to wake me up in time!! I’m not a primitive, I used an alarm clock...once upon a time but ever since I got married I don’t think I used one…or felt the NEED to use it. And what’s funny is that you don’t have to be married to experience this. It could be couples who live in together or maybe just dating....you depend on the other person for maybe bringing you your coffee, or helping with the groceries, or driving around so you can pop in at the atm machine, or take your car for a wash because you don’t have the time, or cook for you, help with the laundry, help you decide while shopping what looks good on you, what color should your nails be and the list can go on forever. I think its inevitable because you don’t intentionally want to be dependent but because you know the person is always there for you, you can ask and slowly it just becomes a habit and in other cases the persons approval or opinion about you is very important. So do statements like 'love is freeing' hold any truth in the real life?

Bar hopping or bed hopping??

One fine warm night in Dubai 2 of my friends and myself decide to go for dinner and dancing. The plan which took over a year to execute was well worth the wait and definitely fun. Even in my high state of mind from amazing Italian food, ear-blasting house music and a frenzy of cocktails i could not help but notice all the eager looking men and women in the room. Observations: men scanning the room like hawks, looking too eager and obviously going slow on the drinks to sustain the ability to walk out of the disc and perhaps if lucky supporting an overtly drunk lady in their arms. The women...scantily dressed, excessive makeup, shoes with heels that threatened their each step and drinking like the world ends tomorrow....hoping to meet their knight in shining armor.....or maybe not???I couldn’t help but wonder that people who would stay in that room would be there for the single reason of being hooked up/getting laid/free sex or whatever you may call it.......its all about sex isn’t it?! What else can it be? Some people go for the music but those wouldn’t get pissed drunk, some go to get drunk but with the safety net of a friend(in my case 2) or a safe male companion but what about the rest of them?! Am I being too judgmental here or is it really a sad thing to do or a sad situation to be in?? Is it being too desperate and is that the last resort?? Or am I being really critical just because i do not have the same worries of having to find someone or be held or just have some sex now and again??

Daughter today Mum tomorrow?

Mother - verb look after kindly and protectively, sometimes excessively so. [As per the Oxford Dictionary]

That’s what mothers do best. Look after, protect and love unconditionally. Yet what is with the daughter – mother relation? They can’t live with each other and certainly can’t live without each other. The constant bickering and arguments that seemed so important a few years back just make me wonder how it would be if those fights had never happened.

How would it be if we had spent a lot more time sharing and laughing and shopping? How would we have turned out to be? How would our relation have turned out to be? Would it be any different than what it is? Or would we have been the same? Its not that I don’t have a good relation with my mum but I just seem to understand all that she did for me only after I don’t live with her!

It’s the small things about a person that you miss the most. My top few about not being at ‘moms’ would be:--

*Fresh fruit! It was so easy to come home and pick up a bowl of fruit cut and kept cold by mom and just gulp it down….but of course I would refuse to eat even that because it didn’t seem important to keep down the phone to eat fruit! Now I realize how long it takes to cut open a pomegranate when I do it myself!

*Putting away folded laundry done by mom, in the cupboard. I still put my folded laundry in the cupboard – after I have separated [whites, colors, blacks and hand wash], washed, put out to dry, got it back in from drying and folded them.

*Mom’s food!! I still don’t like all the dishes she cooks…but I certainly miss my favorite ones…..a lot!

*Changing bed covers……why cant we plastic coat our mattresses and pillows?? Its crazy how it needs changing every week and adds’s on to the separating, washing, drying and folding process!

*Meals for office? I think in all the places I have worked for, I have always had THE most elaborate snacks packed from home - planned out for from morning tea to drive back home!

*Morning cold coffee. She knew just when to get the milk out so it’s the right temperature when I drink it before rushing out for work. I now get up half an hour early to take the snacks and make the milk!

*The best was the late night gossip sessions with mum……we could laugh, cry, abuse and b**c* about people and know its fine to do so because it’s not going out anywhere from our tummies!

So I wonder does it always have to be that way. Do we have to realize our mum’s value after the time is gone? What are we so busy with to have not noticed so much in such little time? What can be more important than having to take mom to her most boring hangout supermarket even thought she just wants to look and not buy? Or take her for a ride once a way with her friend? Or help around the house more than what we did?

Can I go back about a decade back when my sister and I could still be at moms place and do all that we didn’t? Can we have the relation we now have with her…just a little while back? Can we just be her little girls once again……we don’t promise not being naughty but we do promise on more fun and understanding!

Love my Mum....think its time to go meet her :)

Are women that complicated or our Men too lazy to bother!!

Yes women are complicated but i think men have us women all sorted out there! [Please read the comment by Baiju to my previous post 'wedding or dating']I think in most cases and out of my experience - with the number of male friends I have had in my life and spoken to, they all know what women want! They all know how women think and all that they expect from them.The problem I feel is for men to put into action what they already know! Is it very difficult to express your feelings once in a way without having being probed by us? Men know that for women out of 4 weeks in a month, 3 weeks we are hormonally challenged! Yet is it too much to ask for you to be a bit understanding and not fight back when we act like a total pain in the bottom? Is it difficult to just hold us and tell us that it’s ok and just kiss us and the fight will be gone in a second…I can guarantee you that!Is it too much to remember an anniversary or things about how our relation started off? Is it difficult to understand eye contact when in a crowd or to get us gifts for NO reason at all? I am sure that men are not that insensitive or ignorant as they seem to have been portrayed or spoken about…..it’s just about doing the right thing at the right moment.I agree it can be tiring but trust me ill tell you something that can help any relation…which is, that women love to talk and if your willing to listen she will tell you exactly what you can do to stop all the bickering and her nagging….all you got to do is remember….what to do and when…! That’s your keyword – Remember!